would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sorry my hands just texted you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
