He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
