absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
