Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
