there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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