Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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