Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
