I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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