This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
