Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
