My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
