carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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