Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
