if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
