so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
