I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
