You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
