I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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