Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Will exercising make me less horny?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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