Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
