All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
