hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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