o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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