I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
