what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
