i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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