It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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