lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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