that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
