Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
