just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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