You work out of a Hotel?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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