The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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