Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Life is so much better after having sex.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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