new low.... made out with someone while peeing
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
