I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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