i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
