I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
