im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
