Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You ate ashes out of my bong
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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