After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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