Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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