I wish I could punch you in the face.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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