38 yer olds are good kisserssss
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
