u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
