VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
