I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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