the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
