need another drink. this is the easiest way
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
