I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
